When I moved to Umea, I left many things behind. I left my apartment and it's beautiful view. I left the house I shared with Ana. I left my clothes, my furniture, my paintings, my postcards and my life.
So what do I have here?
I have a green duvet cover that reminds me of spring when it's not here. I have some posters that give me colors when everything is dark or grey. I have a scarf that a friend brought all the way from Indonesia just for me. I also have pictures of the people I love and they are up in the wall in front of my bed so that I can see them every day.
I have a small TV and a little potted plant with purple flowers. I have knitting books to help me make things for the people I love, an occasionally for me. I have winter boots and spring boots, and coats and sweaters. And I have a plate full of oranges so that I can just have one when I feel like it.
I have a glass of wine I got at Ikea for 10kr and a little tea-candle holders that make my room seem like there are a tens of stars here, warming my night and lighting the dark.
And soon I'll have to leave all of them behind again and start collecting new things and fill them with meaning and love. Every time I do it, it gets harder... and every time I feel like I need my life here more. I wonder why out of so many things that I chose to leave behind, I thought to bring my fear with me?
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