'The illustrated guide to a PhD'

So does this mean my thesis is like a pimple in the face of knowledge?

That actually explains quite a lot.

Thanks for the link :)

http://matt.might.net/articles/phd-school-in-pictures/

What I do is art

Today I started thinking that in reality, there is no difference between being a researcher and being an artist. Artist are people that look at the world through their own perspective, that see things that others don't, and that are able to translate that into movement, be that with paint, words or their own bodies (or an instrument).

Researchers look at the world differently than 'normal people'. We have special eyes to see, special senses to understand and a different mindset that allows us to focus on something and figure out what is behind it, to grasp that which is beyond what other people understand. We find something and then we take it apart... just to put it together later, not as it was originally, but channeled through our experience with that object.

As I pondered these thoughts, I realized that I think of myself as a writer. I approach my research as I think other writers do: it is inspiration, a good eye and lots of hard work that make a good paper. Isn't it the same with stories or novels?

I am a writer, and my research is art. I put puzzles together, and then I take them apart.

Scared of writing

So I've been in Umea for a month and a half. That's right, about six weeks of fika, korridors, ever-longer days and my bike. In that time I've taken a class, bought and Ipod, made a bunch of cakes, missed my boy-friend, gone shopping and taken up running. Notice something missing in the mix? Something that should be my main focus?

That's right folks, I am scared of writing. Well, I was. It took me a month to actually put fingers to keyboard to do something else besides up-dating my FB status. The thought of my advisers saying my writing was bad, my logic off, that I lacked structure (and all the other fun comments that come with a first draft of the manuscript) made me find a thousand other things to do.

How do you get over your fear of writing? It just so happens I wrote what other people said. I just started reading and taking out full quotes and grouping them into 'themes' to write later. Then, last Saturday I got a nice first paragraph and it was been fun since then. I think I might have found my trigger for writing, and a useful activity while I wait for inspiration.

And I have an meeting for that paper on Friday, so I expect to freak out about how badly I did... but it's always bad and then it gets better..... right?

Draft-head

No one said doing a PhD was easy... and no one said writing was easy either. I knew this, but I threw caution to the wind and followed my dream of doing a PhD (which is inexorably tied to writing a thesis). I did fieldwork, I analyzed data and summed-up my findings. This semester, it was time for me to write paper number one.

I won't lie and say that it's been easy, but it's not a process I hate. These last few weeks have all been about working a puzzle: finding the corner pieces, doing the edges, putting different sections together hoping that everything will fit in the end. The difference between papers and puzzles is that the puzzle you know if you're doing it wrong. The paper, you need your advisers to tell you! -or help you along the way.

Last week was all about putting the sections together. I had written out most of the manuscript in different pre-papers and as I pieced them together, I had to make my discussion of my findings. I finished on Friday evening with a headache and a sense of accomplishment. I can't wait to know what my advisers think, what changes I still have to make and how much longer until I have a 'final draft'.

The problem now is that I can't find the headspace to work. I guess I overdid it last week and have a terrible case of draft-head. I've been thinking about how to explain what that is all weekend long, and I finally came up with the definition: tt's like having a hangover, but without the wine.

Just like a fairytale

Summer is over and I'm back to my old non-job as a PhD student. After long travels, no sleeping pills and delayed flights, I finally got to my little town of Umea. The first thing I did? I went on Facebook. My friend had this as her status:

"Being a graduate student is like becoming all of the Seven Dwarfs. In the beginning you're Dopey and Bashful. In the middle, you are usually sick (Sneezy), tired (Sleepy), and irritable (Grumpy). But at the end, they call you Doc, and then you're Happy."

Doesn't that just capture the pure essence and joy of doing your PhD thesis? I would have to say yes! :D

No, I did not drop out

For those of you who thought the worse: No, I did not drop out. Yes, I am still in grad school. And yes, I am still writing more on my blog than on my thesis. I just decided to change the address: my PhD(c) blog can now be found at ba2phd.blogspot.com

I decided to stay true to my 'patojacolocha' essence and have my regular blog here, which at my whim, might be written in English, Spanish or really bad Swedish...