Its only a few days until I have to grab my suitcases and travel half-way around the world...again. I've been in Guatemala for about ten weeks and it has been quite an interesting ride. However, I am really ready for a change. I miss being in Europe and riding my bike, but most of all, I miss my boyfriend. It's been really hard to be apart for this long.
On being in Guatemala:
Being 'back home' has been a strange experience. It doesn't feel like home anymore. My family is here, but most of my friends have moved away. My house got taken over by my roommate's decorating sense (which is not necessarily a good thing) and I already moved the stuff I won't be carrying with me to Sweden to my parents' house.
Traffic has been something awful, and the ever-pending fear of being mugged seems to have escalated (whether the violence here is really higher or people are more hysterical about it, I don't know... but it sure stuck with me) to epic proportions. On the other hand, I got to spend 10 weeks in shorts and sun dresses and sandals, a luxury I could have afforded for myself in the north of Sweden (nor in Bergen, where Magnus lives).
I also have to say I missed my mom's rice. Having it almost every day has to be the highlight of my trip here.
On packing:
I hate packing. I don't know why I take so much stuff with me. I keep thinking I will only take a few things but then my suitcase is almost at the 'Mam, we'll have to charge you extra' level. To avoid this, I made a 'draft' (or several ones) of my suitcase but its still too big. I will have to go through it again tomorrow and take out half the stuff. I know I can do it, but leaving behind a pretty dress or a shirt I've had forever is hard :)
On leaving:
Honestly, I can't wait to go! Not because of school, certainly not because of my thesis (that I can always cry over later). I can't wait to go to London and spend two weeks walking around the city with my boyfriend. I plan on spending my 29th birthday 'in town' and I'm so excited to go and celebrate with him!
So...
In conclusion I feel like my time here is up, and I'm happy its only a couple of days until I have to make myself squeeze into my coach travel arrangements and walk off T5 at Heathrow and see Magnus waiting for me!
Monday, March 15, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
But its still the same
Today, I met up with my friend R. at the university where I did my undergraduate education -and where I latter lectured-. I hadn't been there since I started my PhD and I wasn't sure how I felt about going.
Driving up there I noticed how much things have changed: you need to give your ID at the door due to recent burglaries on campus, the old coffee and book store is gone and new, chain ones, have opened. Most things, however, are still the same: the kids looking just the same as they did when I started school there ten years ago, the quiet atmosphere and the brisk air of zone 15 have not changed one bit.
And I also ran into some of my former students (I'm still surprised as just how many kiddies were either in the classes I lectured or TA-ed). I laughed so much, and they still remembered so many of the silly things we would pull in class. And they seem so happy to see me that I cant' help but to want to have to go there every day again. Sure, the pay was shitty, I don't really like (aka, I detest) the head of my department now, and I have to go to Sweden (and I want to go to Sweden)... but for a few hours, it was like being back home.
Driving up there I noticed how much things have changed: you need to give your ID at the door due to recent burglaries on campus, the old coffee and book store is gone and new, chain ones, have opened. Most things, however, are still the same: the kids looking just the same as they did when I started school there ten years ago, the quiet atmosphere and the brisk air of zone 15 have not changed one bit.
And I also ran into some of my former students (I'm still surprised as just how many kiddies were either in the classes I lectured or TA-ed). I laughed so much, and they still remembered so many of the silly things we would pull in class. And they seem so happy to see me that I cant' help but to want to have to go there every day again. Sure, the pay was shitty, I don't really like (aka, I detest) the head of my department now, and I have to go to Sweden (and I want to go to Sweden)... but for a few hours, it was like being back home.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Same as I've always been
Over the years, I've grown quite fond of finding patterns in the way I cope with things or continuity in the way I carry out my life and deal with what's important to me. Sometimes, these mechanisms are good and they have helped me get to where I am today. Sometimes, they are bad and have also helped me get to where I am today...
So today, my mom and I went through all her papers to try and find either my Guatemalan ID, or my Guatemalan birth certificate. We were unsuccessful in both accounts. However, we did find a lot of old and cool stuff. For example, I found out that as a little girl, I had terrible allergies that kept me from going to school a lot. That happened again when I was a little older, and starting high school. I didn't have allergies, but I stayed out of school most of eight grade because I was sick. I always thought I exaggerated to get to miss class, but I also discovered I didn't. Like when I was a little preschooler, I had legitimate reasons to be away from the classroom. I just downplayed them in my head so that most of the burden of missing school would fall on me, and not my health.
I also found a lot of my old report cards. I was very much surprised with the fact I had straight A's. Over the (very) many years I've been in school, I've always thought of my self as a more or less average student that just so happened to end up doing a PhD. I've never really considered myself very intelligent, although I freely admit I am not a complete moron. Tonight, as I went through the papers with my mom, I told her that I never realized that I kept getting good grades. I only recall not being as good as I thought I could be (something I still feel today).
As I hone in on my last year as a twenty-something, its nice to see some connecting dots to all that I've been doing: I was getting good grades and enjoying school, despite being sick and having problems coping with being back in Guatemala after our small stint abroad. My teachers described me (in my report cards) with many of the same character traits that I have today, and as I was going through my stuff I realized that I didn't stumble into school, I worked for it over the course of many years. A life project, if you will. And I was doing it without noticing that I was working so hard, or that I enjoyed it so much. I guess its those little tricks we play on ourselves...
Could it be I actually had a plan behind my madness? Your guess is as good as mine. For now though, I will just entertain myself with the memories of the very willful little girl that taught herself how to read so she could program the VCR to tape her cartoons :)
So today, my mom and I went through all her papers to try and find either my Guatemalan ID, or my Guatemalan birth certificate. We were unsuccessful in both accounts. However, we did find a lot of old and cool stuff. For example, I found out that as a little girl, I had terrible allergies that kept me from going to school a lot. That happened again when I was a little older, and starting high school. I didn't have allergies, but I stayed out of school most of eight grade because I was sick. I always thought I exaggerated to get to miss class, but I also discovered I didn't. Like when I was a little preschooler, I had legitimate reasons to be away from the classroom. I just downplayed them in my head so that most of the burden of missing school would fall on me, and not my health.
I also found a lot of my old report cards. I was very much surprised with the fact I had straight A's. Over the (very) many years I've been in school, I've always thought of my self as a more or less average student that just so happened to end up doing a PhD. I've never really considered myself very intelligent, although I freely admit I am not a complete moron. Tonight, as I went through the papers with my mom, I told her that I never realized that I kept getting good grades. I only recall not being as good as I thought I could be (something I still feel today).
As I hone in on my last year as a twenty-something, its nice to see some connecting dots to all that I've been doing: I was getting good grades and enjoying school, despite being sick and having problems coping with being back in Guatemala after our small stint abroad. My teachers described me (in my report cards) with many of the same character traits that I have today, and as I was going through my stuff I realized that I didn't stumble into school, I worked for it over the course of many years. A life project, if you will. And I was doing it without noticing that I was working so hard, or that I enjoyed it so much. I guess its those little tricks we play on ourselves...
Could it be I actually had a plan behind my madness? Your guess is as good as mine. For now though, I will just entertain myself with the memories of the very willful little girl that taught herself how to read so she could program the VCR to tape her cartoons :)
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Word count: zero
I don't know why, but I'm just not in the mood to write. Maybe its because I just handed in (what I hope is) a final version of manuscript 1/4. Maybe its because being in Guatemala is not conducive to academic writing. Maybe its because I can't read two paragraphs without wanting to do something else.
*sigh
I need to work.
*sigh
I need to work.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
I do not look underage!
During my looong journey home, I had a 24 hour stopover in London. Since it was over Christmas, there wasn't that much to do 'in town' and I decided to simply go to a hotel and catch some sleep before my other two flights.
As I was going out of the 'duty free' area, a nice young man came up to me and asked if I wanted to try a free sample of Bailey's. He was offering everyone, so I guess it was a pretty mechanical motion by the time me and my bags rolled by. As he was approaching -and asking- me to take a sample glass, he takes another look and goes 'oh! Too young! Sorry!!!'
I AM NOT TOO YOUNG. I am 28 and well over the age limit for free drinks in duty free shops. However, I take my compliments where I can find them and assume that looking under 21 is a good thing... right?
As I was going out of the 'duty free' area, a nice young man came up to me and asked if I wanted to try a free sample of Bailey's. He was offering everyone, so I guess it was a pretty mechanical motion by the time me and my bags rolled by. As he was approaching -and asking- me to take a sample glass, he takes another look and goes 'oh! Too young! Sorry!!!'
I AM NOT TOO YOUNG. I am 28 and well over the age limit for free drinks in duty free shops. However, I take my compliments where I can find them and assume that looking under 21 is a good thing... right?
Ten weeks
After you don't want to know how many hours of traveling, I finally made it to the land of everlasting spring. It wasn't a very tiring trip, because I did have a little layover in London that let me get some rest before getting here.
...and now I'm back. I have the (I feel) monumental task of finishing my fieldwork, my first manuscript (and submitting it!), writing most of my second article and hopefully, drafting a bit of the third with my friend Christie.
But with the sun shining bright, friends ready to hand out and lovely 24°C weather... who really wants to work? I'll get to it next year. I mean, I am a PhD student after all.
...and now I'm back. I have the (I feel) monumental task of finishing my fieldwork, my first manuscript (and submitting it!), writing most of my second article and hopefully, drafting a bit of the third with my friend Christie.
But with the sun shining bright, friends ready to hand out and lovely 24°C weather... who really wants to work? I'll get to it next year. I mean, I am a PhD student after all.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Vegetable curry and mango chutney for the soul
Ever since Magnus came for a visit and we had dinner at that Indian place in downtown Umea, I've had a craving for not-so-spice vegetable curry like you wouldn't believe. There's nothing wrong with spicy though, I just happen to have the taste buds of a 70 year-old woman from Boca Raton, Florida.
So yesterday I was at the ICA (aka, supermarket) and decided to go ahead and buy a little jar of ready made curry. Since it said 'Made in Indonesia' on it, I knew that I had to go for the mildest one they had. I also got some veggies and some polar bread, in the absence of anything Nan-like. I got home and started making my 'boil in 10 minutes rice bag' (don't laugh, rice eludes me) and put some Cardamum in the boiling water, stir fried the veggies and some Quorn pices (faux-meat for us vegetarians)and plopped the curry on the mix.
And so I sat in front on my computer screen ready to watch a movie that Magnus recommended with a steaming bowl of rice, veggie curry and mango chutney. It was great and made me really happy. So happy, I had seconds and thirds and even managed to go out and have a little walk and a ciggie. The happiness that curry brings to my senses is beyond description... although next time, I'll try the next step of spice... it seems Swedes can out-mild my old woman from Florida taste buds.
So yesterday I was at the ICA (aka, supermarket) and decided to go ahead and buy a little jar of ready made curry. Since it said 'Made in Indonesia' on it, I knew that I had to go for the mildest one they had. I also got some veggies and some polar bread, in the absence of anything Nan-like. I got home and started making my 'boil in 10 minutes rice bag' (don't laugh, rice eludes me) and put some Cardamum in the boiling water, stir fried the veggies and some Quorn pices (faux-meat for us vegetarians)and plopped the curry on the mix.
And so I sat in front on my computer screen ready to watch a movie that Magnus recommended with a steaming bowl of rice, veggie curry and mango chutney. It was great and made me really happy. So happy, I had seconds and thirds and even managed to go out and have a little walk and a ciggie. The happiness that curry brings to my senses is beyond description... although next time, I'll try the next step of spice... it seems Swedes can out-mild my old woman from Florida taste buds.
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