La Patoja Colocha

Same time next year

2011-12-25T16:55:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=si_1mpmVECA

I have this distant memory of being a little girl and seeing this movie with my mom. I remember how she thought it was so lovely and I remember the female lead's blond hair. In many ways, this movie has always been with me. Not so long ago, maybe only a few months ago, I remembered and looked it up. Watching it felt like this thunderstorm of feelings I didn't really realize I felt.

Hearing the song, the little piano notes that serve as bridges for the scenes take me back to thinking about what love is. It reminds me that we never really know the part someone plays in our lives until much after. It also showed me that couples are not perfect, that fairy tales are not how they seem...

Hearing the song makes me miss a life I didn't have and makes me like the one I live. Weird.

No(r)Way

2011-10-07T07:25:00.000-07:00

So after three or so months of living in Bergen full time I can safely say that I will never EVER in my life seriously move here.

Blackbird

2011-05-19T00:50:00.001-07:00

All your life you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Things that I have

2011-05-14T12:54:00.000-07:00

When I moved to Umea, I left many things behind. I left my apartment and it's beautiful view. I left the house I shared with Ana. I left my clothes, my furniture, my paintings, my postcards and my life.

So what do I have here?

I have a green duvet cover that reminds me of spring when it's not here. I have some posters that give me colors when everything is dark or grey. I have a scarf that a friend brought all the way from Indonesia just for me. I also have pictures of the people I love and they are up in the wall in front of my bed so that I can see them every day.

I have a small TV and a little potted plant with purple flowers. I have knitting books to help me make things for the people I love, an occasionally for me. I have winter boots and spring boots, and coats and sweaters. And I have a plate full of oranges so that I can just have one when I feel like it.

I have a glass of wine I got at Ikea for 10kr and a little tea-candle holders that make my room seem like there are a tens of stars here, warming my night and lighting the dark.

And soon I'll have to leave all of them behind again and start collecting new things and fill them with meaning and love. Every time I do it, it gets harder... and every time I feel like I need my life here more. I wonder why out of so many things that I chose to leave behind, I thought to bring my fear with me?

Hands

2011-05-14T07:40:00.001-07:00

Hands are one of the most beautiful part of the human body. We dress them up with rings and nail polish to try to make them look better but there is just something so warm and soft about a pair of freshly washed hands that makes them seem so earnest, so real. The kind of hands that are a little red from all the washing, are the ones that I like the best right now. You can always tell if someone washes their hands a lot because no matter how much lotion you put on them afterwards, the palms always look red and the nails always look wet. Working in a public health department and being surrounded with physicians and nurses, I can see red-palmed-scrubbed-clean hands all the time. They are all so different, but they all kind of look the same at the time.

It makes me wish I was artistic (aka, had any talent other than singing out of tune when no one is around) to draw them, to play with clay and make them. Instead, I watch and try to remember how they make me feel: taken cared of and safe. It's always the littlest things that do that, isn't it?

Running my time away

2011-05-04T05:26:00.000-07:00

My knees are sore. My calves hurt I have to do about twice as much laundry as I had to do before. I also seem to have developed a new found appreciation for those tight running pants and I always make sure I have a ton of bananas in my fruit plate at home.

What has happened to me? I'll tell you: I have been running all semester long. I got my self a little training app for the phone and I do what it tells me. It basically tells me when to run and for how long to do it... and it lets me manage my own speed. It's been really nice and I can see how my days have changed since January.

But there is always a but and I can tell how it's eating away at the rest of my life. This week I have to plan around doing that silly 90min run on Friday and still being alive enough to bike to my friend's house. I won't complain though. I figure that I'll burn so many calories doing those 15K that I figure I'll run that I can totally suck on a sugar cane and still be good.

Secretly, that's what I like the most about running: all the chocolate and candy I can eat and burn :)

Birthday month

2011-03-03T10:23:00.000-08:00

January came and left, and February mornings were far to cold in the north of Sweden for me to sit outside and smoke a single, guilty ciggie while day dreaming about what this year will bring. March is here and my birthday is just around the corner. This is a big year (but then again, they all are) and I'm turning 30. I don't quite understand how that happened, or when.

I think about the past and the present, and I like the path I chose to walk. Sometimes, when I'm having fika with my friends and making K cry/chuckle I think about the sad little girl I used to be. When my family calls and says they miss me, I remember that for many years they never really cared (and that they do now makes me deeply happy). I have grown to be a woman that has wonderful, good people that love and care for her. And for that I am very grateful.

Living in three countries spread over two continents means that I will never get to have all the people I love around for the anniversary of my birth (or for the celebration of me still being alive, which is how someone that has been sick like I have looks at her birthday). However, when I blow out my candles in a few days I will carry all of them with me, along with the wonderful certainty that I am not alone in this big, blue world.

Jordan Catalano

2011-01-18T06:25:00.000-08:00

I've been watching 'my so-called life' lately and not having seen it for the better part of a decade really helps me to remember what it was like to be Angela. We all were Angela, weren't we? We all had brave friends that seemed to fit into the social arena so well, and we all felt totally excluded from what was happening.

I remember feeling like I didn't 'belong' and how amazingly meaningful one single line in a poem or a story could be. In many cases, I still feel like that. Like it´s easier for others to cope, to understand, to grow, to love. I am not a teenager anymore, and almost not even in my twenties, but I remember. I remember and I understand. One thing, though... I don't miss the angst I use to feel over my own Jordan Catalano...

Party like it's 1999! (or 1995-1999)

2011-01-01T06:07:00.001-08:00

As any person with as many iconoclastic tendencies as yours truly will tell you, this time of the year posses terrible contradictions between our desire to free ourselves from symbols and cultural obligations and, well, just having time off from work and school. Usually, I cope by calling everything by its 'proper sociology of religion name' and wishing everyone a happy hegemonic deity birthday/randomly set beginning of the year not really marked by the solstice (like the Iranians, who celebrate new years on March 21, when the sun wins the fight for time against the dark and the cold) and by working.

I will admit to going to new year's parties with my cousin Hugo and the lovely Marielos... and to randomly convincing complete strangers at the Café No Sé to chant wonderful pro-welfare state propaganda (yes, healthcare and eduation SHOULD BE FREE), as we all found out two years ago via a random MPHer from Johns Hopkins and a bar bet which I lost).

This year I ended up at a party at Andy's (Mg's friend) and while I expected a quiet, fun night of puns, Monty Python references and a great dinner, I got me a dance party complete with 1990s flashbacks which made me feel like I was 15 again and getting ready for my fiesta de quince. So to the tune of 'rhythm is a dancer' I welcomed 2011 and then proceeded to walk the 5km back to Mg's house at 4 am (got home at 5.30). No more dancing today, though

Learn (useful) Spanish in 30 days or your money back!

2010-12-28T11:54:00.001-08:00

Learning a language is more than just conjugating verbs, confusing the polite and the familiar form of the second person singular or figuring out how to recognize and properly use the subjunctive. It is about communication and it is about saying -and knowing- the right words at the right time.

So Mg got a wonderful present from his sister: a Spanish 'word/phrase of the day' calendar for 2012 and a Spanish language course. Already we are ripping the benefits since Mg has just learned his first truly useful phrase for someone who is planning to tour Guatemala. What is it, you ask?

'¿Dónde está la estación de policía?' (where is the police station?)

A phrase that a white European tourist will surely need in the land of everlasting spring :P

Something I will never forget again

2010-12-27T06:43:00.000-08:00

Two weeks ago I was trying to figure out what to take with me for a month in Norway. I already know you don't wear that much stuff in the winter since basically you wear the same thing all the time. A few sweaters would do the trick... pajamas for staying indoors and woolen socks to keep my toes toasty would surely be enough.

My problem now was a different one than when I was packing to spend the summer on 'the continent', where the sun is hot and I could indulge in wearing pretty dresses for weeks and weeks. When I packed my bag in June I wanted to take every single piece of clothing that wasn't made of wool that I owned. Now I only wanted to take a few things, but they were so bulky that I had to go for my bigger suitcase. So the morning of the trip I took out a few things and decided against taking sweatpants with me.

That was a mistake. I am sitting here in front of a nice fire and all I have are jeans. I 'yearn' for my old sweats and promise to never leave them at home ever again!

Song

2010-12-27T06:36:00.000-08:00

You don't have to say you love me just because I can, you don't have to stay forever, I will understand...

It just came on while I was sitting in the living room, knitting a pair of sock-booties for a friend back at school. It made me miss my friend D. and sitting in her living room, singing old songs with a glass of (ghetto) wine and a ciggie...

And one for the road!

Truffles & Pralines

2010-12-22T13:20:00.001-08:00

The only evidence I can find of the actual existence of a deity is my wonderful box of assorted pralines and truffles.

Could there be anything better than a wonderful little box filled with tiny chocolates?

Blogging

2010-12-20T11:20:00.000-08:00

Something has changed this last year. Somehow, I lost the will to blog. I was just talking about this with Mg, and telling him how easy it used to be. I would just sit in front of my computer and tell a funny story. A story I hoped my friends would find interesting and my blog was a way to prevent me from having to say the same story over and over again.

Now it kind of feels like a duty, like homework. Maybe I expect too much of myself. Maybe it's my thesis and the stress of writing. Maybe I just forgot how much fun it could be to just throw random rants into the intertubes without worrying who would read it.

I hope I start blogging again, and soon.

Y todo lo que ya viví lo sigo cargando

2010-10-26T04:53:00.000-07:00

lo llevo muy dentro de mí, nunca lo he olvidado. Lo siento tan cerca de aquí, lo llevo muy dentro de mí.

Ready, set... go?

2010-10-05T10:07:00.000-07:00

I only have about a month left before my mid-term seminar. This means that I have done more than 50% of the work that I need for my thesis (which includes all my fieldwork, two papers, one internship and a boat-load of classes). I just finished filling the forms and will need to start working on my presentation very soon.

I like speaking in public. I'm not afraid of that at all. I'm just antsy and can't help but wonder what will I do once I finish my PhD...

Harvest

2010-09-14T01:37:00.000-07:00

Summer is over and now the leaves are turning and the wind is blowing. I can see it in nature and I can see it in people. In the street and in the office everyone seems to be dressing more formally, wearing (more serious) high heels, suits and looking just a little less relaxed than they did a couple of weeks ago.

Autumn is harvest time and since I am getting ready to leave Geneva in just a few days, and it got me thinking on what I got out of these months away from friends and family in both 'my homes' (Guatemala and Umea).

This is the first time in my adult life I've ever been homesick... but I missed two places at the same time. I wanted to see my family, my gramms, and my friends that got married, had babies and already went through a long time without me in their lives. I also wanted to go to dinner and make bread, eat chocolates, drink tea and laugh with my Umea friends. The last time I felt sad like this was when I was about to go back to Guate after my little stint with my godparents in Puerto Rico... but I was 11 so I guess it was OK to miss my mom!

This is also the first time I realized just how many lovely, wonderful people are in my life (even if they are long distance). I never noticed when I made so many friends (specially because this is not something that comes naturally to me). This summer I got to meet with many of the ones that have been far away for years, and with all of them it felt as if time had not gone by. I got to remember why we were and are friends and learned things about myself and how I've grown in the years between the last time I saw them and now. I still need to be better at writing, though!

...and even though I still like to make sweeping generalizations about people, cultures and places, I really feel like I'm more 'grown-up' now.

The cautionary whale

2010-08-25T00:27:00.001-07:00

So I found some sort of 'shuffle' thing on youtube. It's a great thing to have while I'm trying to make my 'Word art' a little more professional looking. Of course I tried to shuffle Regina Spektor first but it eventually got into the Juno soundtrack (hence the title of the blog).

This morning's song!

Oh, and the title is a not-so-obscure reference to Juno :)

En la vida...

2010-08-24T07:20:00.000-07:00

Hoy vine a la OMS un poco después de las ocho de la mañana. Tenía ganas de sentarme y escribir, de avanzar, de tener ideas. Ahora son las 4.23pm y estoy cansada. Reorganicé mucho de mi borrador, tuve una conversación muy interesante sobre la equidad en salud y las ideologías dominantes (qué rico, me hizo sentirme como que estaba en la clase de Isa Rodas) y ya no me siento con tanta inspiración como hoy en la mañana.

Hoy decidí escribir en español por la canción a continuación. Me recuerda a tener 21 o 22 años y sentir la pasión por la sociología, por la teoría, por entender. No es que no la sienta todavía pero como todos los amores, éste se ha transformado con el tiempo, ha madurado y me ha hecho madurar a mí.

En fin, qué mejor que los Fabulosos Cádillacs haciéndole burla a los Backstreet Boys y una súper canción

Gotta have it, really need it to get by...

2010-08-23T11:31:00.000-07:00

Nope, I'm not talking about the sugar high Renée Zellweger sings about in that iconic 1990s movie 'Empire Records'... I'm talking about decent, high-speed internet.

I really can't complain much about life in Geneva. The weather has been awesome, I get go to out and run through wonderful old houses and the huge gardens in Grand Saconnex and its surroundings, I've had friends come and I love going to the WHO everyday.

But there is always a 'but', I guess. With the really bad internet signal I have in the 'hell hole' (aka as the John Knox Center, which is where I live), I can barely log into Skype. I miss my regular Sunday chats with my mom, my e-beers with everyone and I have to say, it's really made me homesick.

Today, after more than two weeks of unsuccessful attempts at Skype I finally got to call my mom... for 1.45 minutes.

I should just go to the Parc des Nations with my Ipod and call her from there... seriously.

*sigh

'The illustrated guide to a PhD'

2010-08-13T00:35:00.000-07:00

So does this mean my thesis is like a pimple in the face of knowledge?

That actually explains quite a lot.

Thanks for the link :)

http://matt.might.net/articles/phd-school-in-pictures/

There's a small town in my mind

2010-08-10T00:59:00.000-07:00

I've been homesick lately. I think I just move around too much. It's hard to pack up your life every three months and start again, even when you're coming and going from the same two places.

To add complexity to my nomadic circumstances, this summer I added Geneva to the mix and lately I've been feeling a little blue. Not for Guatemala though, I miss Umea. I miss my friends and my small-town life and I think I might just be tired of moving around.

So last night before going to bed I was listening to my Ipod and this song came on... and truly, there is a small town in my mind right now.

A Royale with cheese...

2010-08-03T00:48:00.000-07:00

I just noticed that my usual shampoo has a different name in Francophone countries. Instead of it being 'Elvive' it's 'Elséve'. The funny thing is that I've had that bottle for over a week and I didn't even look ar it. I guess I'm too used to not understanding what's written on stuff from living in Sweden to even care anymore. I just get whatever looks like what I usually buy.

Have to admit, it was a total pulp fiction moment... although I'm not as cool as Samuel L Jackson (but almost).

Things you pick up along the way

2010-07-28T10:55:00.001-07:00

It was exactly a week ago today that I came to Geneva and started living in the house of a nice family that puts up with my French and find my sock-knitting amusing. I really like it here and were it not for the fact that I can't seem to find a walking-distance supermarket, I would not mind staying for the rest of my three month stint.

But I digress. The real purpose of the blog is to say that in Switzerland, people keep their shoes on when they go into a house, which is not the custom in Scandinavia... and having my shoes on in the house feels weird (This despite the fact that the first time I went to Umea it took me forever to get used to it).

So while I'm home alone here, I'm instituting the 'no shoes indoors' rule... both to save me a little cleaning time and to make me feel a little more like home (away from home).

First impressions

2010-07-23T02:40:00.001-07:00

I am now smack in the middle of my third day in Geneva and I more or less feel like I can go on a few random rants about my time here:

Rant 1: The city
Now, I might be setting myself up for disappointment, but I rather like it here. As soon as I got out of the train station I felt like I was going to have fun. I walked around for a few hours and even understood a map of Les Paquis (and everyone knows my map reading abilities resemble those of a poorly trained French Poodle).

Rant 2: Housing
For the next couple of weeks I am staying with a nice Swiss-French family that entertains my awfully rusty French. They live in a small, cozy house with a big garden that has apple trees (from which we get our apple juice). On my first night, there was a freshly baked pie and my bed has two down pillows (could life be any better?).

Rant 3: Buses
So I should totally get a fake ID... I mean, I have the looks for it, apparently. Turns out I almost got the child's buss pass (and would have it had I not shown my passport with my birth year). No, it was not my idea... the dude at the station did it that way and then realized I might not be underaged... I'm happy that continental Europeans are just as prone to giving me the child discount as Scandinavians. Nice to see they have stuff in common. I wonder how much longer I will be able to get away with it... maybe next year I can ask for a 'young person' discount seeing as how I'm going to be 30 and everything.

Rant 4: The WHO
So after 1.5 days at the WHO I can say that I like it. Sure, they don't fika (which is not a plus, let me tell you), but the building where I'm interning has huge windows overlooking some birches (that make me miss Umea a little less) and a lot of other trees. My supervisor is really nice and interested in my work and there are a lot of Spanish speakers around (sorry to say that no Chapines around... so no one's called me 'patoja' just yet).

Rant 5: French
Apparently, if you go six years without practicing your French... you lose it. My accent sucks and for the first few days of French (during the summer vacations with Magnus), I kept bumbling Swedish phrases (that I didn't know I knew). It's slowly coming back though... and I do plan on taking a couple of classes while I'm here.

Rant 6: Travel
Is there a grant place I can apply to for extra traveling? I'm just saying...

Maybe I've been here too long.

2010-07-01T10:09:00.000-07:00

One thing that Sweden has that Norway doesn't is fika. That means that Sweden is light years ahead of its neighbor in the snacks issue. Normally, that doesn't matter since when I'm in Bergen its just to visit Magnus and not to have normal work activity. However, these last two weeks have been filled with classes, lectures and poor coffee brakes with lousy tea that don't get anywhere near normal Swedish fika.

So today we got a special treat: large plates of 'exotic' fruit (in Scandinavia everything that's not apples and Lingon berries are actually exotic). I found myself munching on slices of pineapple and watermelon. As I was enjoying my pale fruit I noticed it tasted 'great'... which got me to thinking: is the fruit better during summer or have I been here too long?

I'm still waiting for my taste buds to totally die so I can have some Scandinavian mango.

What I do is art

2010-06-20T14:09:00.001-07:00

Today I started thinking that in reality, there is no difference between being a researcher and being an artist. Artist are people that look at the world through their own perspective, that see things that others don't, and that are able to translate that into movement, be that with paint, words or their own bodies (or an instrument).

Researchers look at the world differently than 'normal people'. We have special eyes to see, special senses to understand and a different mindset that allows us to focus on something and figure out what is behind it, to grasp that which is beyond what other people understand. We find something and then we take it apart... just to put it together later, not as it was originally, but channeled through our experience with that object.

As I pondered these thoughts, I realized that I think of myself as a writer. I approach my research as I think other writers do: it is inspiration, a good eye and lots of hard work that make a good paper. Isn't it the same with stories or novels?

I am a writer, and my research is art. I put puzzles together, and then I take them apart.

A Swedish sock

2010-06-18T06:10:00.001-07:00

Every year, I set some personal and professional goals for myself. Last year I wanted to do most of the fieldwork for my thesis, submit my first paper and take most of the class credits I need for my PhD.Those were my school/professional ones.I accomplished all of them and are well on my way for 2010!

Among my personal goals was learning how to knit a sock. I've always loved knitting, but one can only make so many scarfs and other 'flat knitting things'. This year, when my advisers came to visit me in Guatemala I got surprise: my new adviser Kj would gladly teach me once we were both in Umea.

So I started. I had much to learn because I had never used five needles at the same time. However, practice and perseverance go a long way. Today, while on the plane to Bergen I finished my first sock EVER! It won't have a partner, as it was just a practice run, but I am very proud of myself and can't wait to do many, many more!

A very good present indeed

2010-06-08T05:23:00.000-07:00

I should be finishing up one of the chapters for my thesis now. However, I got a present from one of my advisers today and I am so happy I just needed to 'write it out'.

So today I got a cook book: 'Swedish cakes and cookies'. It has hundreds of recipes to make all sort of Swedish desserts, and even some variations on cakes I already know how to make.

Have to go back to writing now, but this weekend you will find me in the kitchen making cookies!

Scared of writing

2010-05-12T05:35:00.000-07:00

So I've been in Umea for a month and a half. That's right, about six weeks of fika, korridors, ever-longer days and my bike. In that time I've taken a class, bought and Ipod, made a bunch of cakes, missed my boy-friend, gone shopping and taken up running. Notice something missing in the mix? Something that should be my main focus?

That's right folks, I am scared of writing. Well, I was. It took me a month to actually put fingers to keyboard to do something else besides up-dating my FB status. The thought of my advisers saying my writing was bad, my logic off, that I lacked structure (and all the other fun comments that come with a first draft of the manuscript) made me find a thousand other things to do.

How do you get over your fear of writing? It just so happens I wrote what other people said. I just started reading and taking out full quotes and grouping them into 'themes' to write later. Then, last Saturday I got a nice first paragraph and it was been fun since then. I think I might have found my trigger for writing, and a useful activity while I wait for inspiration.

And I have an meeting for that paper on Friday, so I expect to freak out about how badly I did... but it's always bad and then it gets better..... right?

Finally!!!!

2010-04-26T11:47:00.000-07:00

After about a week of being lap-top-less, she's finally back from the doctor. She just needed a new cord and now she's back!!!

*happy dance

Elastic waist-band?

2010-04-11T11:15:00.001-07:00

Have you ever noticed how tight Swedish-girl jeans are? I have. I've also wondered how that is even possible.

Well... now I know! Yesterday I went down to H&M to look for a birthday present for my little sister and looking through tops and cardigans I noticed that they had proper pants and then some sort of tights with a big-old elastic waist made to look like acid-washed jeans, indigo-blue jeans, stone-washed jeans and black pants. I had to look at them more carefully and examine them to actually tell that they are tights! So know it all makes sense to me: Swedish girls don't really wear pants that are really tight... they actually wear tights that look like pants.

Oh the things you learn in Scandinavia...

Amazing.

A much needed brake

2010-03-26T03:29:00.000-07:00

After all the worries and problems in Guatemala, and before I start stressing about turning my fieldwork into a thesis, I decided to come visit my boyfriend in London. It's been a great week so far, and time has gone by really fast with all the gap-minding in the tube and looking tot he 'wrong' side of the street before crossing it.

The days have been really nice: not that much cold and hardly any rain. I also got a bit of sunshine for my birthday, and got to welcome my 29th year of existence with a whole day at the National Gallery and the National Portrait Gallery. Magnus has gone with me to so many amazing places and even though he has to do his fieldwork, I know he's taken extra time off to be with me :)

Today, I took the day off from London and decided to catch up on a little work. The day is clear and sitting in the sun with my computer is so nice that I haven't managed to work that much anyways!

Leaving on a jet plane!

2010-03-17T07:22:00.000-07:00

And I'm not sure when I'll be back again.

I've always left Guatemala knowing when I'm due to return. I've also never been away from home more than four or five months at a time. However, 2010 looks like a heavy travel year and I'm not sure if I'll even make it home before 2011.

I feel bittersweet about that not coming home for so long. On the one hand, I have my internship, my papers to finish (and a mid-term seminar to be had), two little vacations with Magnus, and so much work ahead that I can't help but be excited. On the other, I won't have my mom around. Today is the last time I'll stuff myself with her perfectly made rice in a long time (and then my friends Alison and Gerd will have to pick up the rice-slack as I usually refuse to even try to make it). I won't be hangin' out with my youngest brother anymore and my sis will finally have some rest after 10 weeks of goofing off with her... and I won't have my puppy around anymore! I think I will miss her so much (and she is very anti-Skype, so that will not be happening as much as I would like).

I know its already mid-March, but I can't help but feel like my year is just beginning... and also like I have to leave a lot behind to do all the stuff I need to do before 2011 comes around to knock!

Four days

2010-03-15T07:53:00.001-07:00

Its only a few days until I have to grab my suitcases and travel half-way around the world...again. I've been in Guatemala for about ten weeks and it has been quite an interesting ride. However, I am really ready for a change. I miss being in Europe and riding my bike, but most of all, I miss my boyfriend. It's been really hard to be apart for this long.

On being in Guatemala:
Being 'back home' has been a strange experience. It doesn't feel like home anymore. My family is here, but most of my friends have moved away. My house got taken over by my roommate's decorating sense (which is not necessarily a good thing) and I already moved the stuff I won't be carrying with me to Sweden to my parents' house.

Traffic has been something awful, and the ever-pending fear of being mugged seems to have escalated (whether the violence here is really higher or people are more hysterical about it, I don't know... but it sure stuck with me) to epic proportions. On the other hand, I got to spend 10 weeks in shorts and sun dresses and sandals, a luxury I could have afforded for myself in the north of Sweden (nor in Bergen, where Magnus lives).

I also have to say I missed my mom's rice. Having it almost every day has to be the highlight of my trip here.

On packing:
I hate packing. I don't know why I take so much stuff with me. I keep thinking I will only take a few things but then my suitcase is almost at the 'Mam, we'll have to charge you extra' level. To avoid this, I made a 'draft' (or several ones) of my suitcase but its still too big. I will have to go through it again tomorrow and take out half the stuff. I know I can do it, but leaving behind a pretty dress or a shirt I've had forever is hard :)

On leaving:
Honestly, I can't wait to go! Not because of school, certainly not because of my thesis (that I can always cry over later). I can't wait to go to London and spend two weeks walking around the city with my boyfriend. I plan on spending my 29th birthday 'in town' and I'm so excited to go and celebrate with him!

So...
In conclusion I feel like my time here is up, and I'm happy its only a couple of days until I have to make myself squeeze into my coach travel arrangements and walk off T5 at Heathrow and see Magnus waiting for me!

But its still the same

2010-01-29T18:24:00.000-08:00

Today, I met up with my friend R. at the university where I did my undergraduate education -and where I latter lectured-. I hadn't been there since I started my PhD and I wasn't sure how I felt about going.

Driving up there I noticed how much things have changed: you need to give your ID at the door due to recent burglaries on campus, the old coffee and book store is gone and new, chain ones, have opened. Most things, however, are still the same: the kids looking just the same as they did when I started school there ten years ago, the quiet atmosphere and the brisk air of zone 15 have not changed one bit.

And I also ran into some of my former students (I'm still surprised as just how many kiddies were either in the classes I lectured or TA-ed). I laughed so much, and they still remembered so many of the silly things we would pull in class. And they seem so happy to see me that I cant' help but to want to have to go there every day again. Sure, the pay was shitty, I don't really like (aka, I detest) the head of my department now, and I have to go to Sweden (and I want to go to Sweden)... but for a few hours, it was like being back home.

Same as I've always been

2010-01-23T22:44:00.001-08:00

Over the years, I've grown quite fond of finding patterns in the way I cope with things or continuity in the way I carry out my life and deal with what's important to me. Sometimes, these mechanisms are good and they have helped me get to where I am today. Sometimes, they are bad and have also helped me get to where I am today...

So today, my mom and I went through all her papers to try and find either my Guatemalan ID, or my Guatemalan birth certificate. We were unsuccessful in both accounts. However, we did find a lot of old and cool stuff. For example, I found out that as a little girl, I had terrible allergies that kept me from going to school a lot. That happened again when I was a little older, and starting high school. I didn't have allergies, but I stayed out of school most of eight grade because I was sick. I always thought I exaggerated to get to miss class, but I also discovered I didn't. Like when I was a little preschooler, I had legitimate reasons to be away from the classroom. I just downplayed them in my head so that most of the burden of missing school would fall on me, and not my health.

I also found a lot of my old report cards. I was very much surprised with the fact I had straight A's. Over the (very) many years I've been in school, I've always thought of my self as a more or less average student that just so happened to end up doing a PhD. I've never really considered myself very intelligent, although I freely admit I am not a complete moron. Tonight, as I went through the papers with my mom, I told her that I never realized that I kept getting good grades. I only recall not being as good as I thought I could be (something I still feel today).

As I hone in on my last year as a twenty-something, its nice to see some connecting dots to all that I've been doing: I was getting good grades and enjoying school, despite being sick and having problems coping with being back in Guatemala after our small stint abroad. My teachers described me (in my report cards) with many of the same character traits that I have today, and as I was going through my stuff I realized that I didn't stumble into school, I worked for it over the course of many years. A life project, if you will. And I was doing it without noticing that I was working so hard, or that I enjoyed it so much. I guess its those little tricks we play on ourselves...

Could it be I actually had a plan behind my madness? Your guess is as good as mine. For now though, I will just entertain myself with the memories of the very willful little girl that taught herself how to read so she could program the VCR to tape her cartoons :)

Word count: zero

2010-01-14T10:34:00.000-08:00

I don't know why, but I'm just not in the mood to write. Maybe its because I just handed in (what I hope is) a final version of manuscript 1/4. Maybe its because being in Guatemala is not conducive to academic writing. Maybe its because I can't read two paragraphs without wanting to do something else.

*sigh

I need to work.

I do not look underage!

2009-12-30T10:35:00.000-08:00

During my looong journey home, I had a 24 hour stopover in London. Since it was over Christmas, there wasn't that much to do 'in town' and I decided to simply go to a hotel and catch some sleep before my other two flights.

As I was going out of the 'duty free' area, a nice young man came up to me and asked if I wanted to try a free sample of Bailey's. He was offering everyone, so I guess it was a pretty mechanical motion by the time me and my bags rolled by. As he was approaching -and asking- me to take a sample glass, he takes another look and goes 'oh! Too young! Sorry!!!'

I AM NOT TOO YOUNG. I am 28 and well over the age limit for free drinks in duty free shops. However, I take my compliments where I can find them and assume that looking under 21 is a good thing... right?

Ten weeks

2009-12-30T10:33:00.000-08:00

After you don't want to know how many hours of traveling, I finally made it to the land of everlasting spring. It wasn't a very tiring trip, because I did have a little layover in London that let me get some rest before getting here.

...and now I'm back. I have the (I feel) monumental task of finishing my fieldwork, my first manuscript (and submitting it!), writing most of my second article and hopefully, drafting a bit of the third with my friend Christie.

But with the sun shining bright, friends ready to hand out and lovely 24°C weather... who really wants to work? I'll get to it next year. I mean, I am a PhD student after all.

Vegetable curry and mango chutney for the soul

2009-12-01T06:31:00.001-08:00

Ever since Magnus came for a visit and we had dinner at that Indian place in downtown Umea, I've had a craving for not-so-spice vegetable curry like you wouldn't believe. There's nothing wrong with spicy though, I just happen to have the taste buds of a 70 year-old woman from Boca Raton, Florida.

So yesterday I was at the ICA (aka, supermarket) and decided to go ahead and buy a little jar of ready made curry. Since it said 'Made in Indonesia' on it, I knew that I had to go for the mildest one they had. I also got some veggies and some polar bread, in the absence of anything Nan-like. I got home and started making my 'boil in 10 minutes rice bag' (don't laugh, rice eludes me) and put some Cardamum in the boiling water, stir fried the veggies and some Quorn pices (faux-meat for us vegetarians)and plopped the curry on the mix.

And so I sat in front on my computer screen ready to watch a movie that Magnus recommended with a steaming bowl of rice, veggie curry and mango chutney. It was great and made me really happy. So happy, I had seconds and thirds and even managed to go out and have a little walk and a ciggie. The happiness that curry brings to my senses is beyond description... although next time, I'll try the next step of spice... it seems Swedes can out-mild my old woman from Florida taste buds.

'Transferable skills': I cut Gerd's hair

2009-11-09T10:54:00.000-08:00

One of the most important things that a PhD student has to remember is that we will eventually go back to the real world. Yes, after the PhD most of us won't be in a university anymore. We will have to do what normal adults do: live lives with schedules, actual business suits and other stuff.

To cope with this dramatic change of t-shirts and late mornings to heels and waking up early, we learn a set of the so-called 'transferable skills'. That means things that some of what we know how to do as researchers actually works in a 'real life' environment. To the best of my knowledge, I have none of those so far... well, had.

Last night, Gerd asked me to cut his hair. 'Are you scared to try? he said... to which I replied -no, are you?

I have to say I did a really good job. Even hair, client happy and I realized that I might have gotten an actual skill that's good for after my PhD -if that post-doc doesn't pan out, I mean

Stressed-out

2009-11-01T01:18:00.001-07:00

I'm just now discovering how much I depend on my stress.

I need it like I need air to breathe. I taught myself that without, I'm not creative, witty, and basically, not me. This week though, it went too far. I could hardly sleep, had a horrible headache and realized that I need air to breathe way more than I do stress.

And I know I've complained about stress before, but I think its finally time to put a stop to it and enjoy my PhD process without sleepless nights. 'All in good time'

Are you a grown up? I am not.

2009-10-22T09:02:00.000-07:00

Today, Prof Michael Kimmel gave a talk about his new book 'guyland'. During the introduction, he said that there are five milestones that mark the entrance into the adult world:

1. Move out of parents house (CHECK!)
2. Finish school (hmmm maybe in 2011?)
3. Get a job (!!!)
4. Ger married (yah, good luck with that)
5. Have a kid (does my thesis count?)

So, I guess this means that while I look 28 on the outside, I am actually about 6 on the inside.

Draft-head

2009-10-12T00:19:00.000-07:00

No one said doing a PhD was easy... and no one said writing was easy either. I knew this, but I threw caution to the wind and followed my dream of doing a PhD (which is inexorably tied to writing a thesis). I did fieldwork, I analyzed data and summed-up my findings. This semester, it was time for me to write paper number one.

I won't lie and say that it's been easy, but it's not a process I hate. These last few weeks have all been about working a puzzle: finding the corner pieces, doing the edges, putting different sections together hoping that everything will fit in the end. The difference between papers and puzzles is that the puzzle you know if you're doing it wrong. The paper, you need your advisers to tell you! -or help you along the way.

Last week was all about putting the sections together. I had written out most of the manuscript in different pre-papers and as I pieced them together, I had to make my discussion of my findings. I finished on Friday evening with a headache and a sense of accomplishment. I can't wait to know what my advisers think, what changes I still have to make and how much longer until I have a 'final draft'.

The problem now is that I can't find the headspace to work. I guess I overdid it last week and have a terrible case of draft-head. I've been thinking about how to explain what that is all weekend long, and I finally came up with the definition: tt's like having a hangover, but without the wine.

Wool is not cotton

2009-09-08T12:42:00.000-07:00

And yet I made the awful mistake of mixing the two up. How did I do that? Well, it was in Swedish and now my pretty green sweater that I got for my birthday last year shrunk. My brown sweater that Marielos gave me shrunk. My friend Mariella helped me stretch them out... I'll see what happens tomorrow when they dry

And I cut my finger so it hurts.

Just like a fairytale

2009-09-07T03:16:00.000-07:00

Summer is over and I'm back to my old non-job as a PhD student. After long travels, no sleeping pills and delayed flights, I finally got to my little town of Umea. The first thing I did? I went on Facebook. My friend had this as her status:

"Being a graduate student is like becoming all of the Seven Dwarfs. In the beginning you're Dopey and Bashful. In the middle, you are usually sick (Sneezy), tired (Sleepy), and irritable (Grumpy). But at the end, they call you Doc, and then you're Happy."

Doesn't that just capture the pure essence and joy of doing your PhD thesis? I would have to say yes! :D

On the bandwagon

2009-06-28T20:03:00.000-07:00

Did you hear? Michael Jackson died!

Well, of course you've heard. Everybody has. And everybody's posting something about the late, great, king of pop. I have to say, even though I'm not necessarily a fan, even though I hadn't thought about MJ in years, now that he's gone the world feels different.

I don't know why. Somewhere along the lines of his extravagance, weirdness and theatrics, I lost sight of so many great songs. So I decided to join the bandwagon and post a video. This song reminds me of my dad singing with my brothers and I. We were never any good, but there is something about singing in the living room with your dad when you're a kid that you never forget.

So where there is love...

Up-staged

2009-06-26T11:31:00.000-07:00

I think it is completely unfair to poor Farrah Fawcett. The poor thing spent three years setting the stage for the grand finale, and then on the afternoon on the day she finally dies... Michael Jackson goes and has a cardiac arrest.

With one clean swoop he ate up all the celebrity gossip online time, all the newscasts, all the printed press room and poor Farrah only got some one-liners.

So now the king of pop is dead, leaving Madonna to be the dowager queen, and a battle between Prince and other suitors for the tittle...

Breakfast date

2009-06-21T11:17:00.000-07:00

I really don't see as much of my best friend as I would like. It's not our fault though. She's a leader for trekking expeditions in Asia and I'm a PhD student in Sweden. If we are to have real time together, we both have to be in the same country... which makes it difficult from the get go.

In fact, when she turned 25, it had been over two years since we last saw each other (she's now 27). We decided after that big a bout that we would make an effort to hang out at least once a year -and have done it successfully these last couple of years. Now, she's training to climb Everest -as part of the seven peaks thing- and she's here to get a visa stamped on her passport. She's here for five days.

In her hectic timetable, we managed to fit in Sunday brunch. So over waffles, strawberries and black tea we caught up. We laughed, made fun of people that were not necessarily around and talked about boys, life and everything we could fit in about 90 minutes. She's coming back in October, for the whole month, but I won't be here. This means I'll be missing a visit from her and from Alejandro.

-The things one sacrifices for school.

On being back home

2009-06-20T19:14:00.000-07:00

It's been a full two and a half weeks since I came back, and I've managed to fit quite a bit into it. Jet lag posed the usual problems, but a weekend at the lake fixed them. Who knew early to bed, early to rise made your body adjust to the time changes better and faster?

And I got myself an intern, and no job. And my car broke down and got fixed -with no job. Can you tell that not having a job for the first time in over six years is starting to worry me? -and is also strangely relaxing.

And next week I plan on starting the meetings for my fieldwork, writing a proposal for workshops, asking for money and riding out June. Being home is great, and I like it... but I can't help but miss my bike, my korridor room and the things I've left behind in Umea.

Monkey do...

2009-05-17T00:31:00.000-07:00

My friend Denise has assigned me the fun task of writing 15 things I like. As I lack the wit of my sister in arms, I will just write things that make me happy (or laugh, which in my case is more or less the same).

1. A nice piece of chocolate after a long day.
2. The way my skin smells after a day in the sun.
3. Having one too many glasses of wine with my wonderful girlfriends.
4. Having a late-night Skype conversation with someone I love.
5. Being a 'best man'.
6. Writing.
7. My family.
8. Cheese and butter... and Scandinavian bread.
9. Baking a cake that turns out beautiful.
10. The way it feels to get into bed after a long day.
11. Saying 'no' to my advisers when I don't agree.
12. Having my advisers say that I have a talent for academic writing.
13. Understanding a bit more Swedish than I though.
14. Meeting old friends in new places.
15. Cider (of course).

Under the sea!

2009-05-06T23:55:00.001-07:00

I'm going to Copenhagen on Saturday. I have a class there all next week and decided to get to the city a day early to see around and get to know the place on the weekend. I also want to take in a few museums because I'll probably be in class most of the day during the week.

There are many things that Copenhagen is known for. Of course there's the 'free district' called Christiania, and amazing buildings. The Danes from that particular city are said to be really friendly and nice. However, that's not what has me so excited to be going. The real reason is that I just want to see the little mermaid.

As a little girl, I remember spending hours reading Hans Christian Andersen. I also remember being outraged (at nine) when Disney changed the ending to one of my favorite stories. So by this time on Sunday, I will have seen my fair share of junkies, even more blond people and I will have stood in the port and watched the little mermaid looking back at the city. I can't wait!

'Summer glow' lotion... more like safety orange

2009-04-25T01:44:00.000-07:00

I have very dry skin. Because of this I need a lot moisturizing lotion... which I ran out of this week. So I went to the supermarket and got me some Nivea 'Summer Beauty' lotion, guaranteed to gradually give you a 'summer glow'. Since those things hardly seem to work in Guatemala, and because it smelled really nice, I got it.

Three days later: I am very tanned, fake-tan tanned. Not only that but were the elastic of my gloves and socks go there are orange rings! Truth be told, I've never been this tanned... so maybe its not that bad. What really sucks is that it has some sort of sun block included... which I'm allergic to (I am allergic to all sun block). So not only am I orangy-skinned, but filled with little bumps from neck-to-toe.

Nice. I'm on my way to the supermarket now.

Strawberry shortcake

2009-04-23T03:29:00.000-07:00

Last time I went to the supermarket, I got strawberries. I usually don't eat too many of them, but they were so big, red, and nice I just had to. I thought I could make a sugar cake and put them on top... and that was my plan for yesterday. Then, I thought it I should try my hand at a strawberry shortcake.

I've actually never tried it before (baking or eating it), so I thought it could be a fun challenge. I also seemed to have all the ingredients except for the whipped cream and fresh milk. I bought the former one at the ICA and the latter I got from my neighbors.

It was surprisingly fun and easy to do, and the result is a gorgeous cake that is not too sweet and that catches everyone's eye... just to prove it, here's my first ever strawberry shortcake in technicolor!

Today is the day

2009-04-17T04:36:00.000-07:00

I've always thought I have a natural knack for languages, and I've always tried to feed that ability with classes, practice, and the occasional travel experience. I also promised myself that I would be fluent in five languages by the time I turn 30. Up til now, I have Spanish, English, my rusty -but once rather good- French and my mid-level Italian.

When I got the chance to come to Umea University to start my PhD, I thought that Swedish could be my last frontier. The months I spent here last year only left me with a vague feeling of knowing how the language sounds, some basic vocabulary and no grammar knowledge. This time around I listen to the radio and find myself recognizing words or even understanding simple phrases. That started a couple of days ago when I asked for directions to Alison's house and then again when I went to the supermarket and while I didn't say a word, I understood how much to pay, that the dude asked me for an extra crown so I could get a bill instead of coins and I thanked him.

Today, while having coffee with Isabel, Erika and Swedish PhD students, I recognized words, understood the main meaning of the conversation and felt very satisfied. So I am very far from even having a basic command of the Swedish language, but I'm marking today as when my learning started!

Went to the bank... came back with a coat.

2009-04-15T06:53:00.001-07:00

After two weeks in the land of the blond and blue-eyed folk, I finally got my stipend check. That means that I can finally buy yarn for knitting, get flour to bake and indulge myself and get a new pair of sunglasses (my old ones got left behind in NYC).

As expected, the bank visit took really long but I finally activated my bank account and got some cash. I went into a couple of stores but didn't really find a pair that could match the awesomeness of my old glasses. Then, there it was: a spring coat with 50% off. It was a 36 (or a 5 in the US), so I thought it might be too tight... but I tried it on. Not only did it fit perfectly (which means someone else might think its a bit loose on them)but it looks so glamorous that I had to get it.

So the sunglasses are still on the drawing board, but a coat at that wonderful size and price, who could pass on such a deal?

No Spring for the wicked

2009-04-12T01:07:00.000-07:00

April in the north of Sweden is fun: you can still play with the snow, get your feet wet and slip on ice as with the earliest months of the year with the important difference that in April you get sunlight!

Apparently, spring had made its early entrance during the last week of March. However, by the time I got here, it was long gone. But don't get me wrong. I like to see the snow. I like the way everything is white in the morning and like walking home when it's snowing. Winter living is a welcomed ritual of putting on clothes, taking them off, and realizing how much life there is underneath the cold ice. Yesterday I saw grass for the first time since I came and it was green and nice... and in the next few weeks it will keep getting greener and nicer, and warmer. Ducks in the pond will be replaced by the summer birds and the lake is going to defrost.

The night is also on its way out. We get about 10-15 more minutes of light every day and soon we will only have sun... with pretty, deep blue skies and I will start to miss the stars and being able to go to bed at 10pm. For now, though, I'm content with the winter and hope we get a few more gray days before the weather changes!

Older (and the jury's still out on 'wiser')

2009-03-22T09:50:00.000-07:00

I have always loved my birthdays. I think its because I've faced some 'health-drama' in my life... but even before that. It might be because I've always looked forward to being older, to have gone 'round the sun once more. I also like the by-products of being older: I understand myself better, I think I understand others more and I appreciate the people that I love and that love me back more.

Since turning 27 I have realized just how important friends and family are. I have amazing friends that love me, care about me and make me feel like I am not alone in this world. I think this is the year that I finally understood what it is like to be alone and how lucky I am to have so many friends and family around me. I have a great family that always makes me laugh and it is because of them that I can say that I truly like what and who I am.

I still don't know how I feel about being 28. Being 25 was fun, 26 felt very grown-up and 27 turned into a year that showed me that I was reaping the benefists of my past in my efforts in school, my work and life wise.

And while I'm still scared of the future, have insecurities, and fights, and problems, and 'issues' like everyone else, today I kind of feel like its more than OK to have them. So my conclusion is that turning 28 is just like turning 18 but with a little extra bump -and some gray hairs.

'Passport watch' or 'you're always allowed to travel home'

2009-03-10T15:15:00.000-07:00

I just finished packing for New York. I'm excited and have been on 'travel mode' for a few days now. This includes constant list-making/checking and the urge to run errands all day.

Travel mode also includes passport watch. Usually, I don't worry that much. One of the advantages of being a double national is that I have two passports... so if I lose one, the other nationality is right there, little booklet in hand and waiting for me. This time, because I'm traveling to the US, I really need my American passport to be nice and keep still. This was making me extra-antsy but then I remembered: you are always allowed to travel home if you lose your passport.

So I guess if the passport is MIA I can always travel 'home' (even though I haven't been to the US since I was eleven!)

Sometimes, life boils down to a game of checkers

2009-03-10T13:13:00.000-07:00

I think I was about five years old when my uncle Roberto taught me how to play checkers... and not very long after that, I got good at it. It didn't take that much for almost every adult in my family to lose a game to me (and most of the times, it wasn't intentional!).

Once, my uncle came for a visit and played with me. I won a few times and started to get cocky... and lost miserably. He told me that I lost not because I wasn't prepared or because my technique was not good. I lost because I had too much confidence and hence lost sight of the little slip-ups and I was making and missed opportunities from being oblivious to my opponents mistakes as well.

Throughout my life I've noticed that cockiness will do that to me every time. If you are over-confident in your abilities then you will loose sight of your goal and probably not attain it. This happened with work this week. I thought I was too good for what I was assigned to do and here I am, five days later and still working on the draft.

So I remembered my uncle Roberto and what he said. I told my friend Danny about it and all he had to say is that 'Sometimes, life boils down to a game of checkers'. And he's right, it does.

The nerve!

2009-02-26T17:09:00.000-08:00

It has come to be quite a surprise that while our society is opening-up and fighting hard to include women as equals in most aspects of modern life, we have forgotten one important thing that sets us apart from the boys: our period.

Because of this I think that now is the time to take a stand against male bosses around the world... specially that kind that tells you that you're not getting paid for the month 'because you did too much thesis-work' or give you penalties for taking your first vacation in three years. How dare they drop such news on you exactly when you are PMS'ing?

Women of the workforce, nay, of the world: unite against male bosses that only have blatant disregard for your womanly cycle!

There is no justice in the world.

Clouds

2009-02-21T01:54:00.000-08:00

I think the world is a harsh place. Its hard, the people are not nice and life never turns out the way you think it will be. Sometimes, we just need a little self-imposed magic, a self-imposed naïve way of thinking that everything will be alright, that there is a rainbow with a big pot of gold at the end of what we are doing.

Maybe I'm doing it wrong, maybe there is no rainbow. Maybe my being naïve is not self imposed at all... but maybe believing or thinking that way that is a good thing. Is that wrong? I know the pitfalls, I know the errors and still I choose to make them, so that I feel happier. Maybe I'm just chasing clouds and are doomed never to catch them.

one, two, three... ok... four will do it -for now

2009-02-06T12:35:00.000-08:00

The way I see it, the world in going down the proverbial crapper. Earth has some serious issues (most of which originate directly from humans, but some from the methane that comes from cow-done -love the fundamentalist Christian folk that came up with that one!) like the economy, wars, over population, incurable illnesses and disease, and global warming.

I do believe in global warming, and I do believe its mostly a bad thing. The only thing that keeps it from being a completely bad thing is my selfish and unhealthy attachment to mangoes. It just so happens that when I was a little girl mango season would start around my birthday (March 22) but this year it started in early January... nothing wrong with that...

So its not that I don't feel bad for the poor little polar bears, the sad penguins and the plants that are burned every day in the amazonian region... its that today I sat down with three mangoes and had them for lunch, and then proceeded to get a fourth one. So world, I'm sorry but I refuse to feel guilty for an 8 month mango season.

NYC baby! -and an extra day to boot!

2009-02-04T07:44:00.000-08:00

I keep hearing people taking these so-called 'vacations' that apparently involve having 'free time' to 'not work'. Those things sound fan-freaking-tastic, uh? Well,I haven't had one of those since I graduated from college back in the summer of 2004.

In a very impulsive move with my friend, we decided I should take some time off... and go visit said friend to New York. We found a great ticket and it all fell into place so we bought it. All that was left was actually telling my boss that I would not be working for a week. So two weeks after we got the ticket I finally got the nerve to tell him. What did he say? 'Good! its healthy to take time off!'.

So, not only do I have 'free time' to goof around in NYC and upstate, but I just noticed that I got my ticket for a day earlier than I thought... so I gots me an extra day of vacations! (that was a huge mistake and I'm blaming it on Mercury's retrograde... but heck, a great mistake, uh?)

This is what my name sounds like

2009-01-28T18:22:00.001-08:00

A while ago I found out my name is a famous song from the US Civil War. Its kind of interesting how these things come to be...

So, after I found out about it I googled the lyrics but never thought to look for the actual song. So here, for you, this is what my name sounds like. I rather like it! :)

An these are the lyrics... in case you want to sing along!

The years creep slowly by, Lorena
The snow is on the grass again
The sun's low down the sky, Lorena
The frost gleams where the flowers have been
But the heart throbs on as warmly now
As when the summer days were nigh
Oh, the sun can never dip so low
A-down affection's cloudless sky.

A hundred months have passed, Lorena
Since last I held that hand in mine
And felt the pulse beat fast, Lorena
Though mine beat faster far than thine
A hundred months...'twas flowery May
When up the hilly slope we climbed
To watch the dying of the day
And hear the distant church bells chime.

We loved each other then, Lorena
More than we ever dared to tell
And what we might have been, Lorena
Had but our loving prospered well
But then, 'tis past, the years have gone
I'll not call up their shadowy forms
I'll say to them, "Lost years, sleep on
Sleep on, nor heed life's pelting storms."

The story of the past, Lorena
Alas! I care not to repeat
The hopes that could not last, Lorena
They lived, but only lived to cheat
I would not cause e'en one regret
To rankle in your bosom now
"For if we try we may forget"
Were words of thine long years ago.

Yes, these were words of thine, Lorena
They are within my memory yet
They touched some tender chords, Lorena
Which thrill and tremble with regret
'Twas not the woman's heart which spoke
Thy heart was always true to me
A duty stern and piercing broke
The tie which linked my soul with thee.

It matters little now, Lorena
The past is in the eternal past
Our hearts will soon lie low, Lorena
Life's tide is ebbing out so fast
There is a future, oh, thank God!
Of life this is so small a part
'Tis dust to dust beneath the sod
But there, up there, 'tis heart to heart.

I can't believe it

2009-01-20T14:45:00.001-08:00

So my car got broken into... 'broken' being the operative word as they shattered my driver side window. My poor Ford Fiesta looks sad and like she has no idea what's happening.

I wasn't mad when I first saw it... but as time passes I feel the sulfur rising. Someone broke into my property and had ample time to browse through my belongings. The worse part? After perusing through them they decided they didn't like anything so they left EVERYTHING.

I should be glad that all my stuff is still there but the fact that all I had in there were books (expensive, public health books in English), honey cookies and a couple of sweaters tells me a few things: the first one being that the idiots don't know how to read. Then... that they probably only eat crappy food, and finally that they don't like my fashion sense.

Well... I'd never!

Friends that are girls

2009-01-15T19:53:00.001-08:00

One of the things I learned in 2008 is the importance of having friends... that are girls.

In these last twelve months I realized that surrounding yourself with caring, compassionate and understanding women makes you the same way. It softens you and makes you see the world in another light. I don't know why I didn't realize this sooner. Actually, I just realized it this week.

The last two weeks have been filled with girlfriends: some that live abroad where in town, others that are far away sent updates and chatted. The ones that are always around had time and opportunity so that we could open up and get to know each other a bit better. I talked about apples, boyfriends, kids, university and drank wine, tea and juice while we lit candles, sat in rooms with pretty flowers and had world class chocolate.

I just read a sappy book so know you all have to put up with my sappy 'I love you' to all my friends that had a beer in El Pilar, walked nine Antigua blocks, made rice for me and put up with me and my particular sense of humor (and moods) every day. I miss all of you.

Three years

2009-01-14T07:10:00.000-08:00

I remember being really scared. Through December not many people knew I was sick and in early January not even my oncologist could tell me how sick I actually was. So no one knew... not even me.

Three years ago today I woke-up after surgery and I was crying. I was scared, even more scared than when I went into the OR. I just was not ready for chemo, for (more) pain and funny enough... I wasn't ready to lose my curls -I was more scared of that than any other thing, mostly because that meant I was a 'sick person' and I just couldn't handle that.

But I woke-up and my mom told me everything was alright. The surgery had been even more successful than anyone expected and at least for now, I didn't have to worry about being sick. Because of the experience I've grown and also seen how wonderful my friends can be... and three years later I'm still here :)

Luna di citta' d'agosto

2009-01-11T06:18:00.000-08:00

Luna di città d'agosto
che sembri solamente mia
in questo asfalto posto
con la gente che se n'è andata via
luna di città d'agosto
mi piace guardarti la schiena
mentre sei girata verso il mare
in questa nottata serena
va e dille che sto bene
di non pensare a me
di lasciar perdere
il vento soffia e il tempo passerà
palazzi e strade come scenografie
di uno spettacolo
che è andato male
coi ballerini che tolgono il trucco
per ritornare a cominciare a sognare
luna di città d'agosto
raccontami un' altra bugia
fammi riscaldare davanti
al fuoco caldo della malinconia
va e dille che sto bene
di non pensare a me
di lasciar perdere
il vento soffia
e il tempo passerà...

Here comes the sun...

2009-01-08T18:23:00.000-08:00

I just got home, changed into my jammies and realized I had a wonderful day today. The sun was shinning and not a cloud could be found in the sky. The temperature was just right to wear shorts and it felt like a glorious late Spring day.

I walked around and was outside all day. I sat at a park bench to read a bit of a great book, I had lunch with dear, dear friends and went shopping for presents for some of the ones that aren't with me right now. So it was kind of like having all the important people around me all day.

Now I'm tired like I remember being tired after a long, nice, and fun day as a kid. The sunlight gives you so much energy but makes you sleepy when it goes away... sleepy in such a nice, warm way were you can barely wait to jump into you nice bed and hug your pillows and just keep on being happy.

Originally I was set to spend the day sitting in the CIRMA library and while I love libraries, sometimes life just works-out in your favor without you knowing it.

The thin, pink line

2008-12-24T14:10:00.000-08:00

Wearing make-up is complicated business. Eye-shadow is tricky, liner is difficult and gloss is finicky and ends-up doing whatever it wants anyways. To some extent, I think I've pretty much conquered the bunny-slope level of make-up 101 but the great beast was still at large: blush.

You see, blush is hard. Its hard because it goes on a part of your face that's not as clear cut as 'lips' or 'eye-lids'... cheeks take-up everywhere, so where do you color and how intensely do you do so?

So, as I practice my blush-wearing abilities I always keep in mind there's a thin, pink-hue of a line between looking blushing and spring-like and looking like a common street walker.

-For the record, I aim for the former, not the latter!

Un pedacito de Tito (An itty-Tito-bitty) 1: about my writing style

2008-12-21T06:57:00.000-08:00

La consición es algo elegante.
No se trata de suprimir palabras.
Hay que dejar las indispensables
para que la cosa además de tener sentido, suene bien.

Elegance can be found in being consice.
Its not about the mere act of disposing of words.
Its about leaving in the necesary ones so that
things not only make sense, but sound good.

Review 1: Dogma

2008-12-16T17:50:00.000-08:00

I'm a sucker for a good pun at the good old hegemonic deity. I'm also one for good movies and really good writing. I just saw Dogma the other day. I really liked it and it made me literally laugh out loud. The timing and the rapport between the actors made me wish I had done more acting in my day... and wonder if I was good enough to go that far.

Don't get me wrong, its not like I ever played Ophelia, but I wish I had. And I also wish I'd been Norah because, darn it, I was the only one that had actually read that stupid play before we started rehearsals.

So this is me, missing 'the theater' and all those great times in undergrad drama club.

Human nature 1: sales

2008-12-07T05:34:00.000-08:00

I needed to go to the supermarket to stock-up on food so I can start avoiding all that hegemonic deity birthday-shopping crowds. I also needed paint for my room and my "home office". So I paid and went to get it... on my way back into the supermarket I got stopped by a nice young lady selling/pushing hair irons.

But it wasn't any old iron. It was the wet2straigh ceramic, negative ions, Teflon one, on sale! I have curly hair, that I actually like... that other people seem to like. Why did she offer it to me? In any case, the real question here is 'why did I buy it?'

I believe that there are somethings that are common to all of us, human folk... getting a good deal on something you don't really need is definitely one of them.

In a "new year's" kind of mood

2008-12-02T08:16:00.000-08:00

I will admit to not being a Christmas-y person. I don't like the slaughter of innocent trees for mere decoration, all the over-eating and all the high expectations about being completely happy during the whole of December -Plus, not believing in the hegemonic deity makes it kind of hard to enjoy the celebration of its birthday.

I do, however, love New Year's. Its the opportunity to review what you have learned, what you've given-up, gained, and what you would like to improve about yourself. It is also a fan-freaking-tastic time to get buzzed and stay up as late as you want with as much wine as you please.

So yesterday I heard my favorite New Year's song, here for your listening pleasure!

Plain and simple

2008-11-27T08:26:00.000-08:00

I hate my job.

You can't go to Zara and then settle for Bulock's

2008-11-12T12:41:00.000-08:00

And by this I mean that you can't see what you like, what you need in life and then settle for anything less than that. You can't go around changing your life to a 'lower quality garment' just because its cheaper -or simpler, as the case may be.

If you like going to Zara, go. If you can't afford the stuff there work and study hard. Again, it is obvious I'm not talking about clothes. I'm talking about your life. If its not at the place where you want it to be, work hard, change your surroundings and the people that don't work and go on, get that pretty pink blouse with the matching sweater you know you really want.

To be fourteen...

2008-11-09T12:36:00.000-08:00

After my Sunday morning ritual of reading the paper from cover to cover I decided to do some work. After working, and because my computer was already on, I decided to watch something on surfthechannel.com. I stumbled accross 'my so-called life'. I remember that show from when I was just starting my teen years. In fact, I remember seeing it first on ABC and then on MTv.

Oh, I remember Jordan, Ricky, Angela and RyAnne (although I'm not sure how you spell her name). So I loaded up the first episode and decided to watch. It all came back to me, feeling so out of place, so different, like I had changed so much while still looking the same. I remembered how badly I wanted to be special and shine. I remembered what its like to be a teenager. It was so hard, figuring out the world, what was beyond my family, my friends, and my school.

I have to say it is an amazing show. It spoke to a generation and made its mark within all of us who were lucky enough to see it and it did it in only onse season. My so-called life was an amazing experiment of looking at life through the eyes of the fourteen year old girl we all wish we were.

¡Leímos por usted!

2008-11-08T18:16:00.000-08:00

En mi otro blog tengo series recurrentes de blogs. Creo que mudaré varias de esas ideas para acá. El viernes leí esta columna de Juan Luis Font y me dio tanta risa (y me pareció tan acertada) que aquí les va:

El discreto encanto del frío
Esnobismo, la ilusión de vivir en un sitio de mayor calidad o quién sabe qué cosa.
Por: Juan Luis Font

Me burlo del tierno alborozo que invade a los capitalinos cuando hace frío, y mi mujer contesta airada ¡bananero!

Tiene razón. Crecí en la Costa y no disfruto esta época de vientos destemplados y vidrios sudorosos, como sí parecen hacerlo la mayoría de vecinos de la capital que sale a desempolvar guantes de gruesa lana, peludas bufandas o chumpas enguatadas o forradas con la piel de animalitos que duermen el sueño eterno. Cuando de niños mis hermanos y yo veníamos a la capital, necesitábamos reunir valor –incluso en marzo o abril– para sentarnos en la fría tabla del baño. Años más tarde me topé con que los asiáticos han inventado algo para evitar el martirio. Una pequeña tubería transporta agua caliente por debajo de la tabla y mantiene a una temperatura amigable el sentadero. No soy pues partidario del frío, pero creo que este comentario rebasa los meros gustos personales.

Es fácil percibir en quienes se visten para esta temporada cierta placidez que va más allá de la temperatura. (He visto a señoritos de mucho postín llegar a sus elegantes fiestas enfundados en abrigos de diseñador, y a proletarios que viajan en camioneta enrollarse con garbo la bufanda al cuello. Y no digamos los gorritos de lana. Hay que ver que la gente se atreve a cualquier cosa. ¿Ha visto por estos días a las damas con botas? Todo es gracias al frío. Este es un asunto muy democrático que no distingue de clase social). Se me antoja que muchos capitalinos sienten que el país –o por lo menos su ciudad– mejora de calidad cuando hace frío, que rebasa un poquito esa insoportable tara de situarse en el trópico (¡subtrópico!, me corrigen todo el tiempo). No es raro encontrar a quien anhele una blanca Navidad, o por lo menos una en la cual haga suficiente friíto para engalanarse sin necesidad de poner en marcha el aire acondicionado. Será porque en el imaginario local la Navidad valedera, la que Dios manda, está acompañada de nieve para que se deslice el trineo del barrigón de la barba blanca. Por eso se esparce esa especie de espuma artificial sobre los árboles que se importan de los bosques del norte o se instalan copias iluminadas de casitas de dos aguas entre mares de algodón que reproducen un paisaje de Nueva Inglaterra. El invierno intenso es una aspiración sentida.

Por décadas he oído el argumento de cuán mejores eran los tiempos en que aquí reinaba el viento helado y las personas necesitaban un abrigo a las 11 de la mañana. Pero consulto las estadísticas y, oh sorpresa, en los últimos 50 años el clima del país en general sólo ha variado en 0.7 grados centígrados.

Acaso la felicidad de quienes se abrigan para la temporada se explique simplemente como esnobismo. Cabe la posibilidad. Pero también es posible, no más posible digo, que esa actitud ayude a explicarse con la notoria incomodidad de muchos vecinos de la ciudad de Guatemala con el resto del territorio nacional. Esa diferencia que se explica con un solo término: el interior del país, para referirse a la provincia.

¿Por qué el interior? ¿Acaso la ciudad de Guatemala se encuentra afuera? En sentido figurado sí lo está. En la capital se encuentra el aeropuerto de donde parten los aviones que permiten llegar al mundo civilizado, del cual la ciudad es apenas un islote en este mar de rusticidad e ignorancia. Los del interior somos primitivos y retrasados, medio mudos sino mudos completos. Lo bueno, lo deseable se encuentra allá, al Norte, porque el interior es un lugar infesto de mosquitos, de culebras, de calor y de todo lo opuesto al buen clima, al viento helado que a partir de octubre redimen a esta noble capital.

Fuente: http://www.elperiodico.com.gt/es/20081107/opinion/78650/ citado el 8 de noviembre del 2008.

November winds

2008-11-03T07:14:00.001-08:00

The year is gone! I can't believe we're already starting November and I already know its gonna go by really fast. I really can't wait for December. I actually dislike chrismas (just like anything that has to do with the hegemonic deity) but two of my best friends are going to be in town!

I might even ask for vacation time!

Trying something out...

2008-10-26T18:35:00.000-07:00

I've been single for a little over four years now. I have dated and engaged in semi-serious relationships but I haven't had a boyfriend in a long while. In this time I came to know myself better, to understand a lot of things about the way I work, think and act. I also came to realize the importance of being alone.

However, I think my single time might be coming to an end. I'm starting to feel like I am ready to open up to someone again, to spend time with them and to get to know myself as part of a couple, not just as single Lorena... still, I'm not sure how to go about ending my happy bachelorhood. I'm also not sure about how to get around my commitment phobias (but I guess that you learn by doing).

But how do I start? I'm not really sure how one goes about 'meeting boys' -specially intelligent ones. I guess I just have to go out and do it! (and figure out the way while en-route).

Fin de año

2008-10-20T09:42:00.000-07:00

Hoy me levanté y sentí ese airecito frío y la mañana con sol y me di cuenta que ya era fin de año. Esta vez se me apareció sin querer, sin notar que ya estábamos a finales de octubre y que ya viene noviembre, diciembre y un año nuevo.

No me di cuenta de que había puesto una cortina más pesada para que no entrara el aire frío, tampoco de que me ponía mi bata todos los días o que había dejado de andar descalza. Hoy en la mañana salí al patio y respiré aire frío y me dí cuenta que se acabó el 2008.

I'm yours

2008-10-15T17:08:00.000-07:00

So, I just like this song. I downloaded it and I'm playing it over and over to try and learn it... because that's just how I am.

Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but your so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks, now I'm tryin to get back
before the cool done run out I'll be givin it my best test
and nothin's gonna stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

But I won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait
I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
We're just one big family
And it's our godforsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved

So, i won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait i'm sure
there's no need to complicate our time is short
this is our fate
I'm yours

Scooch on over closer, dear
And I will nibble your ear

I've been spendin' way too long checkin' my tongue in the mirror
and bendin' over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
and so I drew a new face and I laughed
I guess what I'd be sayin' is there ain't no better reason
to rid yourself of vanities and just go with the seasons
it's what we aim to do
our name is our virtue

But I won't hesitate no more,
no more it cannot wait
I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you will find that the sky is yours

so please don't, please don't, please don't,
there's no need to complicate,
Cause our time is short
This, this, this is our fate,
I'm yours

*scat*

Buckle is the new bow

2008-10-14T17:04:00.000-07:00

I really needed black shoes. Not due to vanity, style or fashion. My first pair lost half a soul on the way to the baker's... the other one lost it walking in the rain in Antigua Guatemala, and my sister's just succumbed to... well, her.

Why is shopping so difficult when you really need something? I'm used to seeing cute black flats everywhere. But now? no luck. Also, I'm on a budget so I only need (meaning afford) one pair of simple, black flats.

To avoid temptation I decided to go shopping with my mom. The instructions where simple: I only need one pair of sensible, cute black flats... possibly with a bow of some sort. She's not allowed to come anymore.

First shopping trip (yes, first): One pair of high heeled cute browns, one pair of birkenstock-style clogs and camel loafers. that was it... from the shoe store. I also got two cute tops at Zara. DAMMIT!

Second shopping trip: SUCCESS! cute black flats, patent leather, and on sale! the best part? two for one plus more discount. So I got two pairs. Sadly, non of my five (Oops, yes, five) pairs of shoes have any kind of bow. The latest have buckles. So I've declared Autumn/Winter of 2009 as 'the season of the buckle'. Also, I'm staying away from malls until after the hegemonic deity's birthday celebration.

Shopping is such hard work. At least I'm setting trends while doing it.

Prinsesstårta

2008-10-13T19:12:00.000-07:00

This Saturday I was asked to make the birthday cake for my friend Julio. Actually, I was asked to bake two of them. The kladdkaka or sticky chocolate cake is really easy to make but then I had a postponed cake for my friend: I had promised to make a princess cake when we met up in Guate city again.

So, about two hours later I had sugar cake made from scratch, strawberry jam, home made vanilla custard and whipped cream and I just had to ad the most important part: a marzipan cover. When it was finally done I congratulated myself. I was really tired but it turned out so pretty.

We've gotten some pretty nice things from Sweden: Volvos, Saabs, vikings that discovered America and what not and Ikea of course... but that cake is definitely the best... and I so rocked it on Saturday.

And that has made all the difference...

2008-10-07T23:05:00.001-07:00

I'm not really talking about the famous poem by R. Frost. Its a whole other thing...

I will admit to being on my way to becoming 'a woman of a certain age'. Its inevitable. We are all going in that direction and although I still have a few years to go, some greys starting rearing their uggly white heads recently.

Not really that recently. I noticed my first 'premature white' when I was about nineteen. I was excited about having some sign of maturity and liked it. Then, when I went to get my haircut last time I told my hairdresser that I thought I had noticed more than my usual single grey. His repply? 'yes, you do have quite a bit more!' Mortifying, really.

So, I had a visit from the famous M not so long ago. I didn't feel as pretty as I usually felt and thought that my friend would be dissapointed. Everytime I looked in the mirror that original whitey was there, sneaking out of my dark brown curls. Then it hit me: who cares if its there or not? not one single soul.

The result? I yanked it out. Suddenly I felt ten times prettier, and younger. So while I am not determined to stop the white from a-coming, I know that having one less has truly made all the difference.

Qué rayos pasó?

2008-10-06T09:57:00.000-07:00

Para los que no estaban al tanto: mi lindo Ford Fiesta estuvo enfermo toda la semana. Se 'esguinzó' una llanta y en lo que se consiguieron los repuestos, llegó el mecánico y se me vació mi cuenta de banco la primera semana del mes, se pasaron ocho días.

Hoy fue mi primera travesía en mi carro arreglado. Tenía que ir a la tricentenaria Universidad de San Carlos de Guatemala a pedir información acerca de la cantidad de matriculados por unidad académica desde 1954... así que me subí a mi carro, ajusté los espejos y comencé mi aventura.

Todo iba muy bien hasta que cambié la estación. Resulta que no dejaban de pasar anuncios en la 'kiss'. La siguiente estación en mi memoria es la doble S. Eso en cierto sentido me alegra porque allí no pasan muchos anuncios y realmente no hay locutores diciendo cualquier tontería. Y ¿qué pasó? bueno, pues que le cambiaron el formato! No sé exactamente cómo describirlo pero es una mezcla de música 'inspiracional' (leáse posiblemente cristiana), heavy metal y rock pesado y la lengua española.

Alguien, por favor, deme explicaciones... entre la radio regeatón del 94.1 y esta cosa con la doble S me va dar algo.

Sanseacabó!

2008-10-05T15:12:00.000-07:00

Y como si nada, estamos en octubre... y septiembre se acabó, y muchas cosas se fueron con él. Pasó tanto este mes que me sorprende:

Mi trabajo de oficina. Septiembre fue el primer mes de trabajar de regreso en casa, después de casi un año de ir a la oficina. No voy a mentir, me gusta más estar aquí que en mi escritorio pequeño con Don Ajo al lado... aunque creo que esto de trabajar en pijamas no me dure mucho porque pronto estrenaremos nuevas oficinas.

Una visita linda. Un amigo hizo su visita anual a Guatemala. Hablar y pasar tiempo con él y su hermana me gusta mucho. Luego de esos diítas que anduvo por aquí siento que somos más amigos y tenemos más cosas qué compartir. No sé qué va pasar, o si estaré aquí para la visita del 2009, pero su visita me dejó en general muchas cosas positivas. Espero haber hecho lo mismo por él.

Una visita atrasada. Mi amigo Harry vino a Guatemala después de un poco más de dos años de no venir. A veces se nos olvida cuánto disfrutamos de nuestros amigos y no notamos lo importante que es tenerlos cerca. Me gustó mucho caminar por Antigua con él otra vez... y espero que no tengan que pasar otros dos años para verlo de nuevo!

No comencé clases... porque si hubiera aceptado mi beca a Maastricht, ya llevaría un mes de estar del otro lado del charco haciendo una maestría. Todo bien, estoy contenta con el doctorado... aún si no paso tanto tiempo en Suecia como a mí me gustaría.

En fin, pasaron mil cosas más: ví amigos, cociné, dos de mis hermanos cumplieron años, hubo fiestas, desvelos y cosas tristes también. Luego de tanto que pasó, no me sorprende en lo más mínimo que este fin de semana no hice más que dormir, dormir y dormir.

Una tarde sin trabajo

2008-10-01T14:57:00.000-07:00

Hoy es uno de esos días. Me levanté con cero, absolutamente cero ganas de trabajar. Y no es que mi trabajo no me guste, no es que me moleste trabajar desde mi casa, no es nada más que ayer pasé todo el día tratando de avanzar sin mucho éxito y que bueno, luego de pasar todo septiembre sin mucha ocupación o deseos de ocuparme, estar de regreso al ritmo normal cansa.

En fin, como estrategia de control me decidí conectar a cuanto programa de conversación tengo instalada en mi computadora. Hasta en el facebook chat estuve metida. Lo bueno del asunto es que aproveché para platicar con mara que no está en Guate y contar algún chiste mientras me ponía al día de las cosas.

El programa favorito de hoy fue sin duda el Skype. No sé por qué no me conecto más seguido pero definitivamente lo voy a hacer. Hasta estoy considerando que inicie sesión automáticamente cuando comienzo la compu en la mañana... aunque si valoro mi trabajo, tal vez dejo la conectada al programita para la hora de la fika.

Canche-news!

2008-09-28T14:24:00.000-07:00

Not soon after I posted the infamous 'lagom' blog I got a phone call from Sweden!

Yay! my favorite German called! It was so nice to hear Gerd's voice and to find out he's still going strong in his intent to learn Spanish. So it seems this is turning out to be one of the best sundays I've ever had (only actually catching The Simpsons with Swedish subtitles would make it better).

So, great Sunday: sleeping in, great Sachs article on El Periódico, veggie lasagna (to feed my inner Garfield) and half an hour of great conversation. I miss my sweet German friend!

The Swedish connection

2008-09-28T11:12:00.001-07:00

I am firm believer in the influence that the environment has on us. I often wonder how different my life would we if my family had stayed in the US, or if I had been born in a rural little town in Guatemala. Would I still be a sociologist? would I still have this need to be cynical, critical, sarcastic, and a little irreverent? The same also goes for my likes and dislikes... would they be the same? No one knows. I certainly don't.

And so, the lattest influence in my life comes from my brief stint in Sweden. One thing I discovered among the snow, elk and prinsesstarta was the lagom lifestyle. In one way or another, I think I have always strived for balance. However, I never realized how easy it could be until I experienced the quiet, full life that most Swedes enjoy.

Because of lagom, I am now trying to balance having an active and fulfilling work life and a full, satisfactory private life. I might be stumbling a little bit, but I have to say that turning off the computer at a set time, having time for friends, family and myself has been a great treat. I think that for the first time in my life I can actually say that I know myself and understand more about me as a scientist, a person and a friend than ever before.

So I will go back to enjoying a work-free Sunday, secure in the knowledge that I am a better person for that. As a note, my next big Swedish import is going to be the fika. Stay tuned for kladdkaka and fun, coming soon!

Onomatopeya

2008-09-25T22:06:00.000-07:00

De acuerdo con mi amigo Alejandro, la palabra onomatopeya no tiene un significado tanto como que representa un sonido. Suena raro, pero lo que realmente quiere decir es que 'kikiriki' es la onomatopeya de gallo, 'muuuu' la onomatopeya de vaca y 'guau' la del perro (o eso entendí de todo el asunto).

Pensando en eso, y en los maravillosos hombres chapines, resulta que la onomatopeya del hombre guatemalteco para siendo 'cht, rica'...

vaya, eso sí que es orgullo nacional.

No, I did not drop out

2008-09-25T20:48:00.000-07:00

For those of you who thought the worse: No, I did not drop out. Yes, I am still in grad school. And yes, I am still writing more on my blog than on my thesis. I just decided to change the address: my PhD(c) blog can now be found at ba2phd.blogspot.com

I decided to stay true to my 'patojacolocha' essence and have my regular blog here, which at my whim, might be written in English, Spanish or really bad Swedish...